Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Perfect

So, lately I've been battling some inner demons.  Just feeling like I'm not good enough...not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not a good enough mother, not a good enough friend, etc.  Please realize this is all me...no one else.  My children and my husband, family and friends are absolutely incredible, they have never made me feel like I'm not good enough.  I am still trying to figure out why I do this to myself.  I think most of you know I have struggled with overeating and purging for the past 5 years.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here.  I have not purged since last summer, but the overeating is really rough for me.  And lately, not sure if it's due to weather or just getting "bored" with being at home for so long or what, but the overeating is back full force and so is the low self-esteem.  All I can say is it's not a good feeling.  I know that I have made some progress and I have to keep telling myself that.  My mindset is not going to change overnight and it's something that I will always battle (as much as I hate to say that).  I recently heard this song by PINK and I think it's a really great song.  I have never been abused or made fun of by other people, but parts of this song really got to me. You can listen to it if you want, I think the message is extremely powerful.  If you would like to hear the song, please click here.  Warning: title of the song contains language, but the song has been edited (clean version).  Also, if you try to find the official video, be warned, it is graphic. (Please do not watch with children around). What is perfect anyway?  Doesn't that 'definition' change from person to person?  I guess what I hope I will eventually learn is that I AM NOT PERFECT, nor can I be PERFECT,  nor is anyone else, with the exception of Jesus Christ.   However, to someone else, I might be pretty close.......

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